...women and war....

H.G.Wells

All over England now, where the livery of mourning lied been a rare thing to see, women and children went about in the October sunshine in new black clothes. Everywhere one met these fresh griefs, mothers who had lost their sons, women who had lost their men, lives shat-tered and hopes destroyed. The dyers had a great time turning coloured garments to black. And there was also a growing multitude of crippled and disabled men. It was so in England, much more was it so in France and Russia, in all the countries of the Allies, and in Germany and Austria; away into Asia Minor and Egypt, in India and Japan and Italy there was mourning, the world was filled with loss and mourning and impoverishment and distress.
And still the mysterious powers that required these things of mankind were unappeased, and each day added its quota of heart-stabbing messages and called for new mourning, and sent home fresh consignments of broken and tormented men.
Some clung to hopes that became at last almost more terrible than black certainties....
Mrs. Teddy went about the village in a coloured dress bearing herself confidently. Teddy had been listed now as " missing, since reported killed," and she had had two letters from his comrades. They said Teddy had been left behind in the ruins of a farm with one or two other wounded, and that when the Canadians retook the place these wounded had all been found butchered. None had been found alive. Afterwards the Canadians had had to fall back. Mr. Direck had been at great pains to hunt up wounded men from Teddy's company, and also any likely Canadians both at the base hospital in France and in London, and to get what he could from them. He had made it a service to Cissie. Only one of his witnesses was quite clear about Teddy, but he, alas! was dreadfully clear. There had been only one lieutenant among the men left behind, he said, and obviously that must have been Teddy. " He had been prodded in half-a-dozen places. His head was nearly severed from his body."
Direck came down and told the story to Cissie. " Shall I tell it to her ? " he asked.
Cissie thought. "Not yet," she said....
Letty's face changed in those pitiful weeks when she was denying death. She lost her pretty colour, she became white; her mouth grew hard and her eyes had a hard brightness. She never wept, she never gave a sign of sorrow, and she insisted upon talking about Teddy, in a dry offhand voice. Constantly she referred to his final return. " Teddy," she said, " will be surprised at this," or '' Teddy will feel sold when he sees how I have altered that."
" Presently we shall see his name in a list of prisoners," she said. " He is a wounded prisoner in Germany."
She adopted that story. She had no justification for it, but she would hear no doubts upon it. She presently began to prepare parcels to send him. " They want al-most everything," she told people. " They are treated abominably. He has not been able to write to me yet, but I do not think I ought to wait until he asks me."
Cissie was afraid to interfere with this.
After a time Letty grew impatient at the delay in getting any address and took her first parcel to the post office.
" Unless you know what prison he is at," said the post-mistress.
"Pity!" said Letter. "I don't know that. Must it wait for that ? I thought the Germans were so systematic that it didn't matter."
The postmistress made tedious explanations that Letty did not seem to hear. She stared straight in front of her at nothing. Then in a pause in the conversation she picked up her parcel.
" It's tiresome for him to have to wait," she said.
" But it can't be long before I know."
She took the parcel back to the cottage.
" After all," she said, " it gives us time to get the better sort of throat lozenges for him-the sort the syndicate shop doesn't keep."
She put the parcel conspicuously upon the dresser in the kitchen where it was most in the way, and set herself to make a jersey for Teddy against the coming of the cold weather.
But one night the white mask fell for a moment from her face.
Cissie and she had been sitting in silence before the fire. She had been knitting-she knitted very badly- and Cissie had been pretending to read, and had been watching her furtively. Cissie eyed the slow, toilsome growth of the slack woolwork for a time, and the touch of angry effort in every stroke of the knitting needles. Then she was stirred to remonstrance.
" Poor Letty ! " she said very softly. " Suppose after all, he is dead? "
Letty met her with a pitiless stare.
"He is a prisoner," she said. "Isn't that enough? Why do you jab at me by saying that? ~ wounded prisoner. Isn't that enough despicable trickery for God even to play on Teddy-our Teddy ? To the very last moment he shall not be dead. Until the war is over. Until six months after the war....
" I will tell you why, Cissie . . ."
She leant across the table and pointed her remarks with her knitting needles, speaking in a tone of reasonable remonstrance. " You see," she said, " if people like Teddy are to be killed, then all our ideas that life is meant for, honesty and sweetness and happiness, are wrong, and this world is just a place of devils; just a dirty cruel hell.  Getting born would be getting damned. And so one must not give way to that idea, however much it may seem likely that he is dead....
" You see, if he is dead, then Cruelty is the Law, and some one must pay me for his death.... Some one must pay me.... I shall wait for six months after the war, dear, and then I shall go off to Germany and learn my way about there. And I will murder some German. Not just a common German, but a German who belongs to the guilty kind. A sacrifice. It ought, for instance, to be comparatively easy to kill some of the children of the Crown Prince or some of the Bavarian princes. I shall prefer German children. I shall sacrifice them to Teddy. It ought not to be difficult to find people who can be made directly responsible, the people who invented the poison gas, for instance, and kill them, or to kill people who are dear to them. Or necessary to them.... Women can do that so much more easily than men....
" That perhaps is the only way in which wars of this kind will ever be brought to an end. By women insisting on killing the kind of people who make them. Rooting them out. By a campaign of pursuit and assassination that will go on for years and years after the war itself is over.... Murder is such a little gentle punishment for the crime of war.... It would be hardly more than a reproach for what has happened. Falling like snow. Death after death. Flake by flake. This prince. That statesman. The count who writes so fiercely for war. . . . That is what I am going to do. If Teddy is really dead.... We women were ready enough a year or so Do to starve and die for the Vote, and that was quite a little thing in comparison with this business.... Don't you see what I mean ~ It's so plain and sensible, Cissie.
Whenever a man sits and thinks whether he will make a war or not, then he will think too of women, women with daggers, bombs; of a vengeance that will never tire nor rest; of consecrated patient women ready to start out upon a pilgrimage that will only end with his death.... I wouldn't hurt these war makers. No. In spite of the poison gas. In spite of trench feet and the men who have been made blind and the wounded who have lain for days, dying slowly in the wet. Women ought not to hurt. But I would kill. Like killing dangerous vermin. It would go on year by year. Balkan kings, German princes, chancellors, they would have schemed for so much -and come to just a rattle in the throat.... And if presently other kings and emperors began to prance about and review armies, they too would go....
" Until all the world understood that women would not stand war any more forever....
" Of course I shall do something of the sort. What else is there to do now for me ? "
Letty's eyes were bright and intense, but her voice was soft and subdued. She went on after a pause in the same casual voice. " You see now, Cissie, why I cling to the idea that Teddy is alive. If Teddy is alive, then even if he is wounded, he will get some happiness out of it- and all this won't be-just rot. If he is dead then everything is so desperately silly and cruel from top to bottom "
She smiled wanly to finish her sentence.
" But, Betty ! " said Cissie, " there is the boy ! "
" I shall leave the boy to you. Compared with Teddy I don't care that for the boy. I never did. What is the good of pretending' Some women are made like that."
She surveyed her knitting. " Poor stitches," she said....
"I'm hard staff, Cissie. I take after mother more than father. Teddy is my darling. All the tenderness of my life is Teddy. If it goes, it goes.... I won't crawl about the world like all these other snivelling widows. If they've killed my man I shall kill. Blood for blood and loss for loss. I shall get just as close to the particular Germans who made this war as I can, and I shall kin them and theirs....
" The Women's Association for the Extirpation of the whole breed of War Lords," she threw out. " If I do happen to hurt-does it matter ? "
She looked at her sister's chocked face and smiled again.
"You think I go about staring at nothing," she remarked.... " Not a bit of it! I have been planning all sorts of things.... I have been thinking how I could get to Germany.... Or one might catch them in Switzerland.... I've had all sorts of plans. They can't go guarded for ever....
" Oh, it makes me despise humanity to see how many soldiers and how few assassins there are in the world. . . . After the things we have seen. If people did their duty by the dagger there wouldn't be such a thing as a War Lord in the world. Got one.... The :Kaiser and his sons and his sons' sons would know nothing but fear now for all their lives. Fear would only cease to pursue as the coffin went down into the grave. Fear by sea, fear by land, for the vessel he sailed in, the train he travelled in, fear when he slept for the death in his dreams, fear when he waked for the death in every shadow; fear in every crowd, fear whenever he was alone. Fear would stalk him through the trees, hide in the corner of the stair-case; make all his food taste perplexingly, so that he would want to spit it out...."
She sat very still brooding on that idea for a time, and then stood up.
" What nonsense one talks ! " she cried, and yawned. " I wonder why poor Teddy doesn't send me a post card or something to tell me his address. I tell you what I am afraid of sometimes about him, Cissie."Yes ? " said Cissie.
" Loss of memory. Suppose a beastly lump of shell or something whacked him on the head.... I had a dream of him looking strange about the eyes and not knowing me. That, you know, really may have happened. ... It would be beastly, of course...."
Cissie's eyes were critical, but she had nothing ready to say.
There were some moments of silence.
" Oh ! bed," said Letty. " Though I shall just lie scheming."

From:  H.G.Wells, Mr. Britling Sees It Through (New York: Macmillan, 1916), pp. 383-89.